Archive for October, 2011
living the practice…part 2
At the end of our days of trekking, I turned to Kat and said, “I’m so looking forward to this boat ride.” She kindly asked, “have you ever rafted?” When I answered no, she explained it wasn’t going to be a boat ride, and that we had to actually do the paddling on this raft. I didn’t know that! I had visions of a boat ride after all that walking and climbing, with the opportunity to take great pictures.
Jigmet wouldn’t go into any detail about why he wasn’t rafting with us, but was firm about this being something he was not interested in doing. He went with us to the launch spot, where we saw there were two rafts going out at the same time. I was dressed in my loose, comfy pants, a long-sleeve white T-shirt, and my cotton canvas hiking hat to protect me from the sun. The first thing we were told was, go put on your gear…gear, who knew! Wet suits, life jackets, and helmets were laid out on the river beach for us. I asked one of the raft-guys if I should just tuck my pants into the wet suit, and he answered without looking up, “Take them off!” I did, but decided to keep my T-shirt on so my arms wouldn’t get sunburned.
There was a young couple from NYC who we met briefly on the trek also doing the rafting. They were in our raft, along with three young, sweet and giggly Polish women, a helper, and the guide. Another great surprise to me was that we were actually to sit on the SIDE of the raft and not on those things in the raft that I thought were seats. The guide gave us 5-minutes of instruction about the paddling commands he would give. I asked the question, “what happens if I drop my paddle?” He looked me straight in the face and said, “DON’T drop your paddle.” Then explained if anyone happened to “pop out of the raft”, (WHAT?!?!) he would throw this life-line that was attached to the raft. If you couldn’t get the life-line, to simply lie back on your life jacket, it will support you, stick your legs straight out in front of you, and point your feet in the direction the water is flowing. He went on to reassure us there was a short kayak with a rescue man who would be traveling with the two rafts to save anyone if it came to that, and how to hold onto the kayak in case this happened. I listened carefully, but these directions were clearly NOT something I was going to need. There was NO WAY I was going to ‘pop out’ of the raft into this glacier fed, freezing, fast-moving Zanscar River!
We waved goodbye to Jigmet, who was riding in the jeep with our gear, and would meet us at the end of the three-hour raft trip.
The other raft launching with us was all men, with one woman; we were mostly women with Mac, the guy from NY, and the two raft guys. The ‘power raft’, as I called them, thought it was so much fun to bring their raft close enough to use their paddles to splash us with the freezing cold water. We screamed, they laughed, and then the water got wild and crazy again and we had to pay attention and do some serious paddling. The sun was shining, the sky was clear blue, the river was wide, and fast-moving, and the gorge was beautiful when there was a brief moment to actually have a look at it. I wished I could be taking pictures.
About half-way into our journey, there was a huge, jagged rock formation in the river that triggered the thought, ‘what if we hit that damn thing!’ The guide was masterful with his commands and we managed to safely navigate around it. Just past it, we were in some serious churning white water. Paddling like crazy, the next thing I knew, I got slammed on the side by Kat who was on the opposite side of the raft. A moment later I was in the water! The raft completely capsized dumping all 9 of us into the water! My first thought was, ‘oh fuck, I’m in this freezing river!’ I got out from underneath the raft. When my head was above water, I heard terrible screaming but couldn’t tell what was going on with anyone. I thought of Kat. The next thought was, ‘what did he say to do?’ I did exactly as he said, laid back and indeed I was floating, no struggle…put my legs up and out in front of me with my feet going in the direction of the river’s flow. There was no question about what direction it was going; I was being pulled fast and furious. I had the thought, ‘oh, I hope my sneakers don’t get ruined.’ (!) Of course, being a person who follows directions well, I didn’t let go of my paddle and laid it across my chest as I was pulled down the river. I kept saying to myself, ‘I’m OK. I’m in the water, its freezing cold, and I’m OK. Stay right here in THIS moment, I’m OK right now.’ I absolutely knew I was OK in each moment.
Suddenly, I felt someone grab my arm, I turned my head to see the terrified face of one of the Polish women, she screamed at me, “I have two small children! I can’t die here!” I yelled at her, “Look at my face…look at me! Now let go of my arm and take my hand.” I held her hand, kept eye contact, then told her to lie back like I was doing, legs up, feet out in front, and relax. I said, “I’m OK and you’re OK! You’ll be rescued. Just relax, breathe in and now breathe out, breathe in, breathe out, breathe in, breathe out, and now let go of my hand.” Some minutes later another Polish woman grabbed me and we did the same thing.
I had no sense of time or where anyone else was; I focused only on this moment. Freezing and aggressively being pulled by the river, the kayak rescue angel suddenly appeared in front of me. He told me to grab the handle on the front of the kayak, wrap my legs around the nose of it, and then look at his face. He asked, “Are you OK?” I started laughing and said, “Yes, I’m OK. Are you OK? What about the others?” He said I was the last one and that everyone was safe. He told me he got me last because I wasn’t struggling. It had been more than 10 minutes that I was in the water.
I was pulled into the raft, relieved and shaking. The guide said sternly, “OK, now everyone start paddling”. We all looked at each other, stunned, grateful to be alive and to see everyone unharmed…we paddled for about 10 minutes, freezing and shaking. When it was possible to safely pull us over, they did, and we climbed out onto a small beach surrounded by giant boulders where I plopped, half sitting on a rock. Immediately, someone came up to me, ripped off my helmet, my life-jacket, unzipped the wet suit, and told me to get the wet T-shirt off. I was shaking so badly I couldn’t speak or stand, I assume a combination of near hypothermia and shock. When I could move, we all began to hug each other, and each person began telling their version of what happened to them. I was told by someone in the ‘power raft’ that I was caught in a whirlpool and was spinning around. I had no idea of this. Jigmet was there with the jeep, visibly shaken, having witnessed the raft capsize. He later told us the last time a raft capsized, the guide got caught in a whirlpool and drowned.
After about a half an hour, the guides told us we could either go in the jeep, or get back in the rafts to finish the trip. “Are you kidding?” They assured us this next part of the river wouldn’t be so wild. One by one we each climbed back into our rafts and paddled together for another hour or so to our destination.
Looking back at this experience, I was so grateful to recognize how the practice in my daily life shows up in the most unexpected ways and situations. Where in your life do you see/feel all that you’ve learned and practice on your sober journey has become an integral part of who you are?
with much gratitude and peace…
