Archive for November, 2010
living fully…
I suppose the memorial service in the city this afternoon for an AA friend along with the recent deaths of two others bring thoughts of ‘living fully’ to mind.
It’s not only the finality of death that triggers the wisdom of living fully for me. I recently spent time with my sister who is quite limited in terms of physical capacity due to pervasive pain in her knees and feet along with some back issues. Making plans involved thinking about how long we would need to stand or how far we would be walking, were there stairs to navigate to be considered. This was only a week for me, for her it’s how she lives at this point. There’s the inspiring client who just finished a 10-month, grueling interferon treatment for hepatitis C and is now slowly beginning to recognize being in the body she once knew, with some familiar energy levels returning, and the possibility of yoga classes again. I witness the incredible courage of Gail pulling into ‘her space’ in the meeting on her motorized wheel chair, knowing she just traveled more than a mile through town and traffic to get there to hear the message of recovery and will travel the same distance home afterward. Her MS continues to progress and she now needs help to take off her jacket. Of course, the list can go on describing people’s physical limitations whether it’s from chronic disease, injury, part of the aging process, or a combination of all the above. The inspiration and courage to live fully in this day is right in front of me, all around us.
Where am I not living fully due to my mental limitations? I recently recognized I am still holding onto shame from a period of ‘lostness’ in my sobriety, and am now willing to practice self-forgiveness to allow freedom from this limitation. Am I holding back from living fully by believing some form of fear-based thoughts? I’m not a writer so how can I actually write a book. If I move to that city I’ll be lonely because I don’t know anyone there. A client begins to explore a limitation in her life, ”I’d like to really shift in my work life, but I’ve done this for the past 12 years, I’m respected in my field, I know exactly what to expect; to shift into the unknown feels very overwhelming for me.”
What self-induced limitations of the mind are holding you back from living fully? Is it procrastination? Signing up for that class you’ve been wanting to attend. Finishing a project you started and can’t get back to. Unable to show up for the exercise that is on the daily list, but ends up lost in your day? Limiting beliefs that begin with I can’t?
Where are we not living fully in our spiritual life? Do I take the time to sit still, not just once in the morning, but for periods of time throughout the day? Three minutes of intentional stillness, mind at rest, letting go of ‘thinkingness’ makes a huge difference in my day…breathing in and breathing out, coming back to center, simply being. There is so much joy and pleasure for the moments I take to simply notice beauty…these often become ‘haiku moments’ for me where I capture a moment of incredible ordinary beauty in nature, in the human condition with three concise lines. Can we be present enough to feel the spirit connection by listening to another or being heard with complete, open, full attention?
We have the opportunity to learn and practice living fully in recovery through gratitude, giving and accepting love and compassion, living in Truth, having acceptance of what is, and extending a hand when and wherever possible.
Where are you struggling today with living fully?
Namaste…
